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Oh My Gosh. I am so sorry. For the most part I know of a product called 'flies off' that some pet stores in the area may carry that seems to help a lot in many but not all cases. If not that, they may carry something similar. The Advantix product for flea and tic control is also supposed to help with the control of flies eating them up but I don't know how well it works for that.
I found a variation recipe on the vinegar with some additions you might try. Mix 1 ounce of citronella oil with 1 cup of cider vinegar and 1 cup of boiling water. Add a basil a bay leaf. Once it cools off try applying it to the ears.
The most effective method is keeping them inside through most of the day. I'm sure the situation is frustrating for you since you can only do so much.
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