(07-25-2013, 04:21 AM)edimzy Wrote: Never let the cats “fight it out.” Cats don’t resolve their issues through fighting, and the fighting usually just gets worse. Interrupt aggression with a loud clap of your hands, spray from a water gun or a burst of compressed air (no noise).
Neuter the cats. Intact males are particularly prone to aggressive behavior.
Separate their resources. Reduce competition between the cats by providing multiple, identical food bowls, beds and litter boxes in different areas of your house.
Provide additional perches. More hiding spots and perches will allow your cats to space themselves out as they prefer.
Don’t try to calm or soothe your aggressive cat, just leave her alone and give her space. If you come close, she could turn and redirect her aggression toward you.
Reward desired behavior. Praise or toss treats to reward your cats when you see them interacting in a friendly manner.
Try pheromones. FeliwayTM, a product that mimics a natural cat odor (which humans can’t smell), may reduce tensions. Use a diffuser while the aggression issue is being resolved.
Thanks for your involved responses, edimzy. We did try some of these approaches, and I think they each had a degree of success. The Feliway spray certainly seemed to settle things down dramatically, if not completely. We learned early on that trying to soothe our girl who was angry only caused her more discomfort, and, as you said, she often simply saw us as part of the threat. "Giving her her space" was a must at that point. We never got in the way of the chasing but did interfere/cut off access when "my" girl reached a safe zone.
I'm happy to say that at this point life here has settled down to a passable peace. I still am unsure if the Siamese is trying to make friends with the Calico or if she's taunting (she gets near, then lies down in a vulnerable position) Whichever it is, the Calico just can't accept a friendship if that's what's being offered. But there is no longer any chasing. We still have the occasional hiss when they are close but they have managed to work it out so that they just give each other about 2-3 feet of space to change positions so they can carry on. All in all, I'm quite pleased.
(08-25-2013, 04:48 AM)ohiotom76 Wrote: We've had both of our cats for three years now, and they still don't get along. I don't think there is much that we can do to change them at this point, so we just let it be. I think the biggest issue is that they have two very different personalities. The one is very finicky and doesn't like to be messed around with much at all - she's skittish about everything. The other one is a goofball that likes to play around a lot, and she drives my other cat nuts with her antics.
This sounds a lot like our situation, ohiotom. They are "polar opposites"...a scaredy cat and curiosity killed the cat; elusive and a cuddler; quiet and noisy, etc. I just think the Siamese is too much "out there" for the Calico and the latter just wants to be left alone...even by humans to a large degree. Even by me, except when she asks for attention and I am far and away her favorite. (I'm "hers" as much as she's mine, as it were)
I still wonder, occasionally, if they'll ever be friends, but I don't dwell on it, because it doesn't really matter. I'm so thankful that they've worked things to the point that they have, if it never gets any better than this, I'm a happy Mom!
