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I regret getting a puppy and I don't know what to do.
11-27-2013, 01:11 PM,
#1
pipps Offline
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I regret getting a puppy and I don't know what to do.
Everyone is probably going to think I am a horrible person for saying this, but here goes. Me and my boyfriend have just got an 8 week old rottie pup and I am already regretting this decision before I have even spent more than 5 minute with her.

This puppy is a result of my boyfriends family breeding their dogs and this last one was taking a while to sell. So my boyfriend said that we would have her. Someone then phoned up asking about her and said they were coming to take a look after the weekend. We both accepted this because we had figured out it was a stupid idea us having a dog now. My boyfriend has battled a very serious illness this year and had to take a year out of study. He will be returning next september and we hope to live together then. This is another reason I originally said no. I have wanted to live in an apartment high up in the city, for years! and this will not be happening with the rottie. I have also been planning on getting a little dachshund for myself in a year or two.

However, all those plans are being thrown out the window now we have the rottie pup. I don't know why I agreed to her, I feel so stupid. He bought her out to the car and she looked so cute (but that's because she is a puppy!) I don't like his family dogs who are grown up rotties and I worry I will just hate this dog. We have also been arguing lots about her too.

I just wanted a bit of time to be us, but now I have gone and said yes. My boyfriend really wanted to keep her and he keeps telling me he is going to keep this dog anyway, even if I don't want to. But I am starting to feel very trapped and isolated. We have both made plans for the future which a big dog will ruin.

I feel like a terrible person and this is actually making me feel sick inside and I can't sleep anymore. It's just after 3am in the morning now and I have a massive lump in my throat. I'm so desperate for any advice of what I should do.
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11-27-2013, 01:35 PM,
#2
apickett80 Offline
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RE: I regret getting a puppy and I don't know what to do.
I'm sorry that you regret getting your puppy. Pets take a lot of care and responsibility and it is apparent that you are not willing or ready to do either for the puppy. Please do not ever take this out on the puppy because it is not his fault. Talk to your boyfriend and explain to him that you are not ready for this puppy and you feel that you would not be able to enjoy having the pup.

If your boyfriend does not agree with you then explain to him that you will not be responsible for the puppy and he will have to do all the caring for the pup. Maybe your boyfriend will realize that you both have too much to do and can not keep him. Will his family accept the puppy back into their home? If so, that would be ideal until a new home can be found. I do hope it works out in the puppy's favor. No offense to you or your boyfriend at all..it is just that the puppy is the innocent party and I don't want to see him homeless.
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11-28-2013, 01:23 AM,
#3
pipps Offline
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RE: I regret getting a puppy and I don't know what to do.
After a good sleep I feel a lot better about my decision. I think this is just some pre-puppy jitters as I really want everything to be perfect for her and I want us to be just as happy as we were without her.

I know feel much better and I thought I would get lots of judgement and criticism for that post. Well, I did get a bit. But I am not worried about what other people think of me, as they do not know me at all. I am a loving person and me and my partner have been through more than enough to last us a lifetime this year.

I have been worrying about this new puppy not being as good as my old dog. Who I had for 17 years, she was amazing in everyway but I realise it is now stupid to compare them.

And I don't want anyone to worry about the welfare of this dog, as she will always have a home and already has lots of people who love her very much. I'm just worried we won't be able to dedicate the time to her as next year I will be working a lot. But I've figured out a way to make arrangements for this nowSmile

So all is sorted now, thanks for your input.
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12-03-2013, 11:38 PM,
#4
Oscar Offline
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RE: I regret getting a puppy and I don't know what to do.
I understand your problem. A big dog definitely isn't for anyone. I think you should tell your boyfriend that you do not want to be a dog owner at this point of your life. You two definitely need to come to an agreement.
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12-05-2013, 11:19 PM,
#5
dickybird Offline
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RE: I regret getting a puppy and I don't know what to do.
I am sorry you feel this way about having the puppy. Previously, I have always had rescue dogs, which were already house trained and calmer. However last year we got our first puppy, I honestly did not understand the amount of work it would take. I have heard alot of people say having a puppy is like having a new born child and I completely agree with this. It is so disheartening to come home to your house covered in wee and things that have been destroyed. My puppy teethed for a long time and for some reason he would chew and bite on my hands, he would only listen to my partner and my partner would often come home to find me in tears. Therefore I would not enter into this decision lightly as it is time consuming and hard work. I love my dog and although it was hard work, I wouldn't change him for anything, he is toilet trained, independant and very loving, and it is very easy to forget all the stress that was caused. I think you need to speak to your boyfriend and ask him if he knows what he is getting himself into, does he have enough time to devte to the dog and does he know the impact it will have on your relationship.
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12-07-2013, 08:17 AM,
#6
tierapatt50 Offline
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RE: I regret getting a puppy and I don't know what to do.
I feel so sorry about you not feeling good about getting your puppy but getting a puppy is a serious deal and a lot of people do it so casually but it takes serious thought and consideration. It seems like you would be better off if you found the rottie different home with another nice family but do not feel too bad about it because at least you are honest with yourself.
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01-16-2014, 05:39 PM,
#7
MformantSecor Offline
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RE: I regret getting a puppy and I don't know what to do.
I know you seem okay with your decision now, but you need to put a lot of thought into this commitment. If you want to get the puppy into a loving home that is ready for it, I suggest you bring her to a shelter, as puppies are adopted nearly right away. If you wait too long and decide later that you don't want her, it will be very difficult to find her a new home as people don't typically want older dogs that already have set habits and attachments. Plus, it will be harder on you if you form an attachment.

As I said, I know you seem okay with the decision now, but if you find yourself constantly changing your mind, you need to give the puppy up. You need to stress to your boyfriend the points I have made above and let him know how you feel about how your future time commitments will impact the time spent with the dog. Don't worry about the puppy getting adopted at a shelter, like I said, people always want puppies. If you plan to keep her, I just hope you can really commit and give her the love and attention she deserves. Good luck!
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01-24-2014, 10:07 PM,
#8
BirdPoo Offline
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RE: I regret getting a puppy and I don't know what to do.
I too am sorry for the position that you are in. Seems like a dead end, huh?

The problem is not the innocent little pup. The problem is you and your boyfriend. Not to be harsh but if the two of you are not at a place in your relationship where you can maturely discuss the pro's and con's of such a commitment then there is a big problem.

There are always factors involved in getting pets and committing to their forever care. It is apparent that this was not discussed and was a "spur of the moment" decision. Ultimately the one to suffer is the animal unless one of you decide to be grown-ups and handle this situation properly. Dr. Phil would be able to handle this better than a pet lovers forum.

I mean no harm in my harsh words but I do not feel the need to coddle people who have made decisions at the detriment of an innocent pup that didn't ask for the apparent crap that it has been tossed in to.
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02-24-2014, 10:51 PM,
#9
meshcastaneda Offline
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RE: I regret getting a puppy and I don't know what to do.
I'm very sorry to hear that but I think you shouldn't include the dog with your relationship problems with your boyfriend. First thing is, if you really arent a horrible person, you wouldn't let your dog be a problem, hence, just learn to love him. You should not think negatively about what future that dog will lead you into. You must know that everything happens for a reason and you might not expect that your dog will be a blessing in disguise. No dog would give you a horrible time if you would love and accept him. Give him a chance. Maybe your plans aren't really for you that's why all this is happening. Don't fret my dear and I hope you finally decide on keeping that dog for good.
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02-25-2014, 11:34 AM,
#10
The Aspertarian Offline
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RE: I regret getting a puppy and I don't know what to do.
My mother-in-law adopted a chihuahua from a local rescue. Within about three weeks she regretted it. She did not realize that he would take so much work (he came from an abusive situation). He was a fear biter and was not disciplined at all. He did not want to be on anyone's lap, did not want to be held.

Long story short, she asked me to take him (because I was the only one he had not bitten). I hesitated because I had an awesome dog and I did not think that any dog could ever take her place.

But when it came down to this little guy going back to the rescue or coming home with me, I relented. my husband was very apprehensive. At first he had said no way (the dog's nicknames were devil-dog, Cujo, Killer). When I began explaining the way the dog was thinking and how that was affecting his behavior, my husband gave in.

Today we have an obedient, sweet, cuddly little lap dog who hasn't even tried to bite in a long time. He is submissive to the humans and he has found a place in our home and in our hearts.

He isn't my old dog and he does not fit in that space. He takes up a new space. Let that puppy find it own space in your heart. You sound like you are concerned for the dog - I suspect you will come to love him.
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03-02-2014, 04:34 PM,
#11
millshre Offline
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RE: I regret getting a puppy and I don't know what to do.
I'm sorry you're feeling stressed. I agree with the others and what you said about this dog being innocent and needing a good home. You need to be honest with yourself and your boyfriend about all of this.

Honestly, I'm a little concerned about the relationship you have with your boyfriend because the way you made it sound was that he pressured you into taking a dog and said that he's giong to keep it regardless of what you think. While that is, of course, his choice, it definitely doesn't seem to me like you guys are at a place in your relationship to be co-raising anything.

I hope I'm wrong and just read more into it than I should have and everything works out for the three of you.
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03-05-2014, 07:58 AM,
#12
Atlanticgrl Offline
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RE: I regret getting a puppy and I don't know what to do.
I would strongly agree with the other posters who suggested you think long and hard about this. In fact, my advice would be to find it a good home, other than yours. It does not sound like you are prepared to really give this dog all the attention and training he needs. A Rotty is a big responsibility, when he gets older, if he is not disciplined and trained well, he may be too much for you to handle.

I hate to see dogs given up because their owners went into it thinking owning a dog would be like owning a teddy bear or cat. DOGS TAKE WORK. A lot of it, especially when they are pups. They need consistency, exercise and companionship. They are pack animals they need companionship as much as most people. If you are not going to be around much, give this dog a chance to have a home where he will get the attention he needs. Please, think about the dog and not yourself.
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03-05-2014, 09:05 PM,
#13
janineaa Offline
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RE: I regret getting a puppy and I don't know what to do.
Well, pets are a huge responsibility, especially dogs because they can get hyper. It's sad to hear you regret keeping the dog, but it is understandable as to why you don't want the pet anymore. It's better to admit that you aren't ready for the responsibility and that you want to focus on yourself and your relationship with your boyfriend. Look for a loving family to adopt the pet, someone who will give its 100% love and affection.
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02-02-2016, 01:00 AM, (This post was last modified: 02-02-2016, 01:01 AM by mett1982.)
#14
mett1982 Offline
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RE: I regret getting a puppy and I don't know what to do.
Having a dog is a big responsibility. You are essentially taking care of a child. They depend on you for everything. A lot of people don't realize that and get a puppy because they are so cute. Which they are. You have to teach them everything from going to the bathroom outside instead of inside. How to act around people when you have company over and how to act around other dogs. It's a lot, a lot of work. I have to admit when my husband told me he wanted to get another dog I wasn't very keen on the idea. We already have a 90lbs Alaskan Malamute and now he wanted to get a German Shepard. YIKES! I agreed because he really wanted him. And once he got him more i didn't want the puppy there. I actually resented the little puppy. But after about a month I fell in love with him. Now 2 years later he is my buddy! I couldn't imagine our household without this big goofy Shepard. So maybe if you give it some time and try to bond with your pup. He might just become your best friend!
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03-05-2016, 01:53 PM,
#15
Corzhens Offline
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RE: I regret getting a puppy and I don't know what to do.
If you really cannot stand the puppy and has no time and affection for caring, I would suggest that you convince your boyfriend to give the puppy to somebody who would love to have it.

I was born and raised in a cramped apartment and the several dogs we had were for the purpose of being guard dogs tied in the garage. When I married, my husband's sister gave us a puppy. My husband named her Jedi. I would see my husband bathing the puppy and ridding it of ticks. But I seemed not to have any liking for dogs. After 2 weeks with us, Jedi got sick of diarrhea. In 2 days time, she got thin and had difficulty eating. My husband looked forlorn in assessing the situation when I arrived from work. That was the first time I handled Jedi. The puppy kissed me and I wonder what got into me. I felt something inside, maybe pity for the sick puppy. And then a cat was seen in the backyard and Jedi ran after it. Since she was sick, she felt very week after the failed chase.

I suggested that we bring Jedi to a vet. After estimating the cost, my husband agreed. The vet diagnosed our puppy and had her confirned for one night. When we were outside the vet's clinic, I could hear Jedi's cries. That made me cry too so I went back inside just to take another look at her. I thought she was dying. Fortunately, she was well on the next day and she was wagging her tail upon seeing me. That was the start of my love affair with dogs.
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03-28-2016, 02:49 AM,
#16
remnant Offline
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RE: I regret getting a puppy and I don't know what to do.
Well, I appreciate your honesty and pragmatism. You are not living a lie like most people do only to turn into mercenaries behind closed doors. You can only bite what you can afford to chew. Just surrender your puppy to your boyfriend. Affection is a requisite intangible for all pet keepers. But what about looking at the strengths and positive qualities of this dog? Always have a second opinion to every situation. It may turn out to be the dog you wanted.
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03-28-2016, 10:19 AM,
#17
krystianna Offline
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RE: I regret getting a puppy and I don't know what to do.
You aren't a bad person for not being ready for a puppy. The fact that you are admitting it really shows your maturity and ability to know yourself. This does not mean you don't love dogs/animals. You will have to discuss this situation with your boyfriend and see if you can find the pup a loving home. Don't get down on yourself!!
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