What is Love?

No, I'm not about to start dancing to the Haddaway song.

Really, though. What is love? I've been thinking about this lately. For the record, I've been in a few relationships. None of them ended well, and I think when you're young there's a greater tendency to be romantic and believe you'll find your "true love", get married, grow old, yada yada. In my case, whilst I'm not "old" per se (24 in a few months, sure feels like I'm getting old) I feel like I'm becoming more of a realist.

In this day and age, "love" is a term being used very casually. I think a lot of young people consider simple affection and perhaps lust to be love. I've wondered whether humans were meant to be monogamous in the first place. Why are so many of us cheaters if we're monogamous creatures? Whereas swans on the other hand can stay with their mates for a lifetime. But hey, love is lovely for the bankers, right? Think about how much revenue is generated from the concept of love. It's not just Valentine's Day.

Sometimes, I think true love is only the love parents can feel for their children. I'd like to hear your thoughts, though.

(05-18-2012, 01:45 PM)Mantis Wrote: No, I'm not about to start dancing to the Haddaway song.

Really, though. What is love? I've been thinking about this lately. For the record, I've been in a few relationships. None of them ended well, and I think when you're young there's a greater tendency to be romantic and believe you'll find your "true love", get married, grow old, yada yada. In my case, whilst I'm not "old" per se (24 in a few months, sure feels like I'm getting old) I feel like I'm becoming more of a realist.

In this day and age, "love" is a term being used very casually. I think a lot of young people consider simple affection and perhaps lust to be love. I've wondered whether humans were meant to be monogamous in the first place. Why are so many of us cheaters if we're monogamous creatures? Whereas swans on the other hand can stay with their mates for a lifetime. But hey, love is lovely for the bankers, right? Think about how much revenue is generated from the concept of love. It's not just Valentine's Day.

Sometimes, I think true love is only the love parents can feel for their children. I'd like to hear your thoughts, though.

I'm 37 an still believe you can find true love.

Being monogamous isn't for everyone.
Not every one cheats.

Not everyone wants to be married. Some want to be married more then anything.

You have to do what works for you. I fell in love with my wife at first sight. I didn't talk to her but couldn't stop thinking about her. I searched for her but it took about a year and a half to find her. I talked to her on the phone a few times after a year but didn't know it was her. She was friends with someone I knew. I went to the fair with this girl and my wife went with her.

We were together for about 17 years before getting married because I didn't want to be married. We have been married for almost 4 years now.

What works for someone can change over time.

Some people never want to have kids. Some won't stop having kids.

Love can also find you, like it or not.

Don't put down love because they make so much money from it.

Just look at all the money they make because of hormones.

James

i think that love is a friendship that goes far beyond friendship. obviously there is unconditional love between family members, but in a relationship situation, its having someone that is not only your best friend, but alot more. for example, my boyfriend and i were set up on a blind date by our parents, and guess what? we've been dating 2 years and possibly soon getting engaged. we are soo much alike, but have our small differences, we do everything together and never get tired of eachother, if theres something wrong, the other one knows even if we're not together and we know how to cheer eachother up. we have many similar likes and interests and are willing to engage in those that we dont like, just because the other person enjoys it. i love fishing, but my boyfriend doesnt really like it, but yet he takes me almost every weekend because he likes seeing me enjoy myself. he likes building weird things, i dont, but i still help him build his life size catapults or paper crossbows because i love seeing him get excited (he's a dork). and on those rainy days, we both like to make popcorn and watch movies. theres lots of examples i could give, but like i said, its a friendship that goes far beyond a normal friendship

People are taking love less and less seriously. That is why the divorce rate is so high. 50% and raising in the U.S. Not good at all. More and more single mothers without ever got married. Are we heading the path of big cats like tigers, leopards, and cheetahs? They don't stay together longer than getting the female pregnant.

(05-29-2012, 11:31 PM)amanda509 Wrote: for example, my boyfriend and i were set up on a blind date by our parents, and guess what? we've been dating 2 years and possibly soon getting engaged.

Your parents hooked you two up at 16? Parents still do that these days? That's nice.

Mine never did. On the other hand, my 80-year-old grandma tried to hook me up with a girl once, but I declined.

(05-30-2012, 01:59 AM)Ram8349 Wrote: People are taking love less and less seriously. That is why the divorce rate is so high. 50% and raising in the U.S. Not good at all. More and more single mothers without ever got married. Are we heading the path of big cats like tigers, leopards, and cheetahs? They don't stay together longer than getting the female pregnant.

Your parents hooked you two up at 16? Parents still do that these days? That's nice.

Mine never did. On the other hand, my 80-year-old grandma tried to hook me up with a girl once, but I declined.

i agree, but i think the biggest failure in relationships are common goals. a lot of people, especially young kids have no goals with their significant other. and i believe this makes them fail, because without common goals, no relationship will survive. both derek and i agreed we were going to college, we know what fields we're going into, and we know where we want to be in 5 years, and now we're going to work together to achieve these common goals, instead of just achieving personal goals with no teamwork. and yea, i think it is the true animal nature coming out, spread the genes and leave :/ and its only getting worse...

haha and yea, it was kind of weird, both our parents worked together and constantly bragged about us, and finally they set us up, we became best friends and now lovers and dont you know, grandmothers always have a great taste for granddaughter-in-laws

I believe that love is something that is pure, holds no grudges, and protects. Love will make you go out of your way for a person. Love is suppose to be unconditional. Most people lack love in this world which is why most relationships end up in ruin.

I'm inclined to agree that perhaps the truest form is love is the kind you have for your close family, particularly children.

I know that I love my sisters and my parents in a very different way to how I love my partner - I think I have more expectations on my romantic relationships, whereas my family just all get along. I can't imagine not loving them

After we explore love why don't we explore the meaning of life, it might be just as complicated a subject as this one. Yes, love can be complicated, its a wonderful emotion, but there are different types of love. Yes, there is the kind we have for family members, and even close friends. Then there is the romantic kind, which is probably the more complicated one, because different people have different ways of handling this feeling, and have different views of what this love should be like. Some want to believe its unconditional but in some cases it isn't. I agree with the individual who say that people can sometimes blur romantic love and what its all about, this is why the divorce rate is so high. Like I said this isn't an easy emotion to explain. It has many different faucets to it and people can view it so differently.

Love is an action. When someone says. " I Love You", then turns around and acts like they could care less to be with your or around you, then they do not love you. When someone says that they just stopped loving their significant other it is not a feeling that they lost, but an action they stopped taking part in. Love is by far an action and not just a feeling. Sure there are feelings that go along with it, but love is an action.

February is the month of Valentine's Day and media focus tends to be on love. Often my clients tell me that they have met their "soul mate" or "have fallen deeply in love". Have they? Like cupids arrow, "falling in love" can be deep and swift but is this really love? Having witnessed successful and unsuccessful relationships for over 30 years of clinical practice, I have discovered that certain components are crucial in having an intimate relationship. In order to have a thriving relationship with a lover, family member or close friend the following qualities must be present: trust, intimacy, loyalty and mutually.

Edited by Thor: Please do not post unrelated link.

I feel love can be & most likely is different from one person to the next. There may be common emotions, feelings, but I believe whichever 2 people, that share love, have a little something that no other couple has & it's exclusive to them.

I also believe there is "I love you" and "I am in love with you" & I feel they are different, yet both very special in their own form.

I agree, love is surely being used casually in the 21st century. I too have been in relationships and none of them ended well; with the different relationships and different chemistry they and I shared, it's hard to tell what love is. I felt someone different for all three of my previous boyfriends. "What is love" is a question that has an ambiguous answer to it. Many people think differently on the subject of love. I personally don't know so I am in the same boat as you. Hopefully, a man will come along one day and show me what love is. I'm 25 and still waiting, hopefully he doesn't keep me waiting for too long.

Unfortunately in our present day love is something that is thrown around and not taken seriously at all. I have seen couples who say they are in "love" after about 2 weeks of casually dating. I feel that most confuse love with lust so therefore the relationships tend to end much quicker because the couples or at least the younger type of couples are more attracted to each other physically and not emotionally. In my opinion love is finding your other half or at least as close to a soulmate as possible. Love is loving all the imperfections, always being loyal, always being and having that other shoulder to lean on. Love is also looking at your significant other the same way with the same exact eyes when you first saw them for the first time. I guess I may be a bit old fashioned in my thinking but this is how I view and always will view love.