Personality of a tarantula owner

I think that tarantulas are beautiful...but I'm scared to death of them. I also have arachnophobia. I hate having fears that aren't validated, since I've never really had a bad experience with spiders as far as I can remember. When I was younger, I used to not mind spiders. I'd keep them in jars and feed them flies and such, watching them and just observing. But by the time I was ten, I was terrified. I don't blame anyone who likes spiders, as they are incredibly fascinating to watch. I just...can't watch them without feeling as if I have a bunch of tiny spiders crawling all over me. I guess I get a bit paranoid about spiders, which stinks because there really are a lot of beautiful species of spiders. Maybe one day I'll get over it