Who's in charge? You or the cat?

Purplecapricorn posted a funny photo of a cat giving his regal stare, lying on the master bed with this caption: "I don't care if you're both in the mood, you can roll around on the floor like the lesser species you are. It's my bed and I want a nap."

It reminded me of how I allow myself to be manipulated by my cats. If I'm sitting on the couch and get up to grab a drink or do anything quickly during a commercial break, I often will find one of the cats sitting in the exact spot I just vacated. I won't move them because I feel it's rude. They're family members and they just claimed their seat when I left. I have to choose another spot now.

My husband thinks it's ridiculous to allow an animal to dictate their will over a human. He'll move them off of any chair or couch when he comes to sit down. It doesn't matter if they've been on the chair for hours. If he wants to sit down, they have to go! It's the same way in bed. If they're in his way in bed, out they go!

Interesting question! Whenever I see my cat on the couch or on a chair, I always just try to sit down with her (because I am desperate for her affection), but usually when I do, she is the one to get down and out of the way, even if there's plenty of room for the both of us! She is not fond of sharing.

It's funny, because my dad's dogs always sit on their couch, and when my dad and stepmom are going to sit down to watch television, they always ask the dogs to move, as though the dogs know what they're talking about. They'll be like, "Come on, Molly, I want to sit there." Needless to say, they usually end up pushing them out of the way. xD

As the one who has to roll around on the floor with miss p. capricorn, I shall say you have asked the question wrong. It's not us or the cat, it is "which cat is in charge". I am pretty sure it's the 14 year old maine coon.

Fishbone, that cracks me up! ;-) But you are right - there is always a dominant cat in a multi-cat household. For us, it's the teensy weenie 8 lb Tonkinese. The only one he absolutely cannot dominate is my husband, who strongly dislikes this particular cat!

befree, our cats usually can share a close space on the furniture. Sometimes they're like your cat though and will move if I sit down next to them. My Bengal will not sit next to my husband no matter how hard he tries to coax her. It's hard to figure her out because she will seek him for petting her on the floor by his legs, but she refuses to ever sit near him on the couch. She will only sit by me, but it can take an extremely long time to get her to do so, unless it's cold, then she likes curling up beside me. The Tonk wants in my lap at all times. The DSH wants to sit by me & get petted, but he's almost given up trying since as soon as the Tonk sees him by me, he gets attacked. The DSH is now pretty much the husband's cat. The Tonk knows not to mess with the others around the hubby!

My cat is definitely in charge! He's completely spoiled and gets everything he wants. I think that's just how cats are though, they are nowhere near as submissive as dogs are.

In my experience, cats always sort of assume that they are in charge and I don't believe that I've ever seen a cat who didn't think itself dominate over it's owners. You can see evidence of it's assumed superiority in it's behaviors. For example, when a cat rubs against you it's leaving it's own unique scent and pheremones on you so other animals know that you belong to it. Also, they feel that you aren't able to care for yourself when they bring you dead animals (food) so they must think themselves more competent than you! Another good way to tell if they are dominate over you is to check their litter box. Cats who don't bury their feces are basically advertising that there's nothing in the area that can take them on (Cats bury feces to avoid predators and to not challenge more dominate cats).

Andrew, you're right about cats not being anything like a submissive dog! I grew up with dogs, but have only had cats since I've been married. What a vast difference in the two species! I love cats though - so regal and self-assured! :-)

writer, I especially found the feces burying very interesting in your comments. In my first 3-cat household, the little calico would bury the 2 male cats "business." She was a good little housekeeper I always thought. The 2 males were always battling for dominance though.

In this current 3-cat household, there's at least one of them that doesn't bother to bury their "stuff"! We have 1 female & 2 males again, but the female is definitely not interested in "keeping house!" She is often kept in a separate room with her own litter. Sometimes she buries it, sometimes she doesn't. I think it's the same with the boys. The male Tonkinese cat is most definitely, without a doubt, the dominant cat in this house though.

Is always a race with our two male cats to see who can be the first to use the litter box when its just cleaned. Sometimes I think they don't even have to actually do anything but one always has to be the first to mark it!

Yes, I think marking territory is very important to cats! I've noticed with our current cats, it's the female Bengal & the male Tonk that battle for territory. The DSH is strange - he won't mark anything that I can tell, though he outweighs the others by 8-12 lbs and is a huge cat, complete with claws! The hubby says he's a lover, not a fighter. He is always very upset & concerned when the pure breds are going at it, fighting. Whatever my Bengal marks with her cheeks or paws, the Tonk comes along & marks it with his own scent, having to really stretch to reach her much more higher height! Wherever she sits or lays, he makes her move, sniffs deeply at her scent she's left behind, then plants himself in her vacated spot for a good long while. Such a brat!

From 7 a.m. to midnight, we are in charge. However, when it comes to bedtime, the cats are in charge because they take up the entire bed or they play around at night making a lot of noise. Plus, these guys don't do much to be in charge or not.