keeping a relationship through college...(a bit of a rant)

ugh, i dont think derek and i are going to last, happily that is. we have spent every free moment together this summer and have become VERY close...but thats all coming to en abrupt end -.- when i started school about a month ago, yea, i was stressed, i work almost full time too, but i still made time to see him because it cheered me up. but now that he is starting school, and also working 3rd shift and refuses to get a new job, he has no "time" for me. he is going to run himself into the ground working 3rd and going to college on top of that, but he wont change it until he ends up in the hospital. he also makes a huge deal about coming to see me between class and work for a quick cycle in the hot tub or other things i try to do to make him feel better. he completely forgot about me the other day! he was supposed to come see me after class, and never showed. i found out he ended up playing capture the flag for 2 hours and now, 3 days later, is complaining his body hurts...well duh, you go form no exercise to an intense game of capture the flag..ur gunna hurt! the part that gets me is, he never even told me he found something to do and wasnt going to show...which is not like him to forget me like that...

so...lastnight we talked and agreed we will not see eachother but will still keep the title as being a couple (my idea to ward off the stupid college whores). so because of his poor time management..im basically single without being single? and i dont wanna be single! i loveee him <3 idk what to do

I am not an expert in college relationship, but from my personal opinion you two are still not doing so bad at all. He is pushing himself too hard for working 3 jobs while going to college. I doubt he is going to last. Not that he will go to the hospital, but rather he will give up one or two jobs after a while. No way one man can do that many things at the same time and still have a life. My guess is he will not keep all 3 jobs for very long.

How long have you two been together?
Did he say he really forget he was supposed to show up or he just did not bother to tell you?

(08-31-2012, 07:56 AM)Ram Wrote: I am not an expert in college relationship, but from my personal opinion you two are still not doing so bad at all. He is pushing himself too hard for working 3 jobs while going to college. I doubt he is going to last. Not that he will go to the hospital, but rather he will give up one or two jobs after a while. No way one man can do that many things at the same time and still have a life. My guess is he will not keep all 3 jobs for very long.

How long have you two been together?
Did he say he really forget he was supposed to show up or he just did not bother to tell you?

haha, 3rd does not refer to 3 jobs, it is the all night shift. he does have a second job, but he will be quitting that. but still, working all night and having classes all day, is not good for his health, period. he has been falling asleep in school, at redlights, and at work, and his boss is a d-bag and still pushes him to do more, and he wont stand up...ive tried to help him, and he wont listen...so its official, we are on a "break"...which basically means broken up with intentions of getting back, but it usually doesnt end that way....

Was it a problem with him not having enough time to spend with you, or was it a problem with him not listening to your advice of take it easy on the jobs? If the guy wants to work his own rear end off, let him be.

Who was the one suggesting the break?

(08-31-2012, 09:05 AM)Thor Wrote: Was it a problem with him not having enough time to spend with you, or was it a problem with him not listening to your advice of take it easy on the jobs? If the guy wants to work his own rear end off, let him be.

Who was the one suggesting the break?

the problem was not having enough time for me..kind of makes me feel like one of those shelter pets -.- and he was the one that suggested the break.

I'm so sorry Manda. He could just be stressed stating school in itself, on top of the actual hours of everything. And sometimes young guys in serious relationship, after spending allot of time with their gf, realize there are other things they still want to do too, and feel bad saying that they'd rather play capture the flag, or whatever it may be, that day, which then leads to slightly immature handling of the situation. And it can be hard for some people to learn how to balance "us" with "me", if that makes sense. That's what it kinda sounds like to me anyways. And I swear I'm nor speaking from personal experience, lol.

(08-31-2012, 10:42 AM)amanda509 Wrote: the problem was not having enough time for me..kind of makes me feel like one of those shelter pets -.- and he was the one that suggested the break.

I am sorry to hear that. I have seen that happened. Usually the girls are the ones who want more time together.
Have you two had any argument about it before he suggested the break?

Now it seems to me, he might have lost interest before he took on the 3rd job. It was just a mean to escape. If it is the case, the break could be long term.

(09-01-2012, 09:05 AM)Thor Wrote: I am sorry to hear that. I have seen that happened. Usually the girls are the ones who want more time together.
Have you two had any argument about it before he suggested the break?

Now it seems to me, he might have lost interest before he took on the 3rd job. It was just a mean to escape. If it is the case, the break could be long term.

haha, he does not work 3 jobs! he works one job, but its 3rd shift, which is the all night shift :p and we have been fine up until a couple days before he started college..i understand he was excited, and now he is busy..but thats no reason for him to put me on the back burner. we have never faught, nothing...one day were best friends hanging out and enjoying eachother, and the next, he wants nothing to do with me..

Did he give you a specific reason for wanting nothing to do with you all the sudden? I hope it's not because the 5-foot snake you plan to get.

How long have you two been together?

(09-01-2012, 10:22 AM)Ram Wrote: Did he give you a specific reason for wanting nothing to do with you all the sudden? I hope it's not because the 5-foot snake you plan to get.

How long have you two been together?

weve been together two years off and on, but this past time has been since february. nd no, its not because of the snake lol, his sister has a ball python and he likes it. its mainly because of school, and his new college friends...i see his reasoning, but i just dont understand how he can suddenly go on with no interaction from me?

its official tho. we are on break. so whatever...i guess this just gives me time to give 100% into finishing my business plan fro the shop i suppose...i feel like a reptile obsessed hermit :/

and what makes it worse, is this happens when two guys im clearly not interested, are flirting with me and deff have intentions of getting with me now..and i want nothing to do with them. one is the guy who bought my horse, and the other is the guy i bought my new geckos from. i like them both, as friends, but i have a feeling now that they know derek and i are on break (NOT BROKEN UP) they are going to get pretty serious with their intentions.

It couldn't have just happened all that sudden. He must have thought about it for some time without showing any sign of it.

When you mentioned "off and on", did you refer to similar breaks in the past? If I am right, how long did those break typically last?

If you still love Derek I assume that's the name of your bf, and wish to get back together sometimes in the future, just keep distance with those admirers, haha! I wouldn't worry about opposite sex hitting on me. As long as they are not psychos or too gross to look at, I'd be flattered if I were you.

(09-01-2012, 10:16 PM)Ram Wrote: It couldn't have just happened all that sudden. He must have thought about it for some time without showing any sign of it.

When you mentioned "off and on", did you refer to similar breaks in the past? If I am right, how long did those break typically last?

If you still love Derek I assume that's the name of your bf, and wish to get back together sometimes in the future, just keep distance with those admirers, haha! I wouldn't worry about opposite sex hitting on me. As long as they are not psychos or too gross to look at, I'd be flattered if I were you.

ive broken up with him 2 times in the past because when ive tried dating him those times, i just couldnt get him out of the friend zone..but this last time we really clicked. they lasted no more than a month..

i really do love derek, and he actually came over lastnight to talk about it with me, which tells me he is concerned and does still care, but ill deff be putting those other guys in their place lol. i am flattered, but neither are really my type haha.

Who was the one trying to get back together again after each break up?

What is your type then?

Hi there! I'm new here, so I obviously don't know you and I really hope that I'm not stepping on toes, but I'm going to tell it to you like I see it (as a completely impartial 3rd party).

This guy is jerking you around. The break may have technically been your idea, but I suspect you resorted to that just to keep him from possibly cutting things off for good. I think he agreed to it because he wanted to avoid all the crying and break up drama and because it's nice to have you back home on the back burner while he's off enjoying college. I don't believe that he just forgot about you while playing flag football either. I think he just didn't want to come meet you because he was having fun and wasn't man enough to pick up the phone and tell you. Also, about keeping the title of couple to ward off the college whores... That will never work. I know college girls, and a lot of them become MORE determined to get with a guy if he is taken. It's like a conquest and many women simply do not care who they hurt to get what they want. Girls in sororities are often called "sororiwhores" for a reason.

I'm sorry if any of that seemed mean. I really wasn't saying it to be hurtful. I've just been jerked around by a lot of guys and I've been burned one too many times. I really hope that I'm wrong, but this guy sounds like he's up to no good.