Cat vs. Kitten

Hi!

I was wondering if someone knows how to deal with my problem. My family has had a cat (f) for over 10 years and we just got a kitten about 6 months ago (not from our older cat.) The old cat has gone through a complete personalitychange since we brought in the new one - we almost do not recognize her as the sweet cat she used to be. She really hates the new cat, and she has even begun becoming agressive towards me and my familymembers.

So to you who know:

Is this just a phase? Will she get used to the new cat? Is there something that we can do?

I'm not sure how your situation will pan out. But, I can share my experiences. Thirteen years ago, we got a new kitten from the Humane Society thinking our one year old cat needed a playmate. We brought her home and introduced her to our male cat. Right from the start, she was the one who did not like him. There was a lot of hissing and gnashing of claws for several months. But, they did finally settle in together. They even played with each other after about 6 months. They have had a love/hate relationship for the past 13 years.

We brought a dog into the house in May. The cats both hate the dog. The poor dog can't walk anywhere near them without getting hissed at and jumped on. I have a feeling they will never really settle in to the idea of the dog being their friend. They are old, crabby and set in their ways.

I think your cat might settle down. I can't guarantee anything, but you never know. Time will tell.

(12-14-2012 09:30 AM)deyvion Wrote:  Hi!

I was wondering if someone knows how to deal with my problem. My family has had a cat (f) for over 10 years and we just got a kitten about 6 months ago (not from our older cat.) The old cat has gone through a complete personalitychange since we brought in the new one - we almost do not recognize her as the sweet cat she used to be. She really hates the new cat, and she has even begun becoming agressive towards me and my familymembers.

So to you who know:

Is this just a phase? Will she get used to the new cat? Is there something that we can do?

Deyvion, this is a common problem, as as did Jaimie, I will share a little.

When I was younger, we had a great cat, & my folks adopted a sweet Cocker & we wondered how it may play out. The cat had also changed a bit yet it didn't take long before they realized they must co-exist, & they got along quite well from that point on.

And all I know from others that have dealt with this, they too all worked out, so your best ally right now, is time.....

Good luck & best wishes......

My sister has a cat that is 14 years old. She got 2 kittens about 6 months ago. Her older cat did not and still does not like nor appreciate these kittens. My sister has accepted that her older cat will probably never get along with these kittens. So, she just makes sure that her older cat has his own place in her house, as he likes to sleep in a cat bed on a side table in the living room. She also feeds the kittens and her older cat in different places in the kitchen. She just has to keep the older cat and the kittens separated and then the older cat is able to 'tolerate' the kittens. That is the only way my sister is able to have three cats in the house. She loves her older cat but also, adores her new kittens.

It's always a real good idea to isolate the two cats for a while and only gradually introduce them to each other. Cats can be very jealous and possessive of their humans! It's even advised by some that it's best to not give the new cat any attention while the older cat is watching. Make sure the older cat knows her place is secure. You may have to repair some hurt feelings at this point! but I bet if you put some energy into reassuring your older cat, it will help. Finding a way to keep them separate for a while and only introduce them gradually, through a screen or perhaps keeping the new one in a carrier with a cage front on it, so they can get used to each other's scent for a bit... that has worked for me in the past.

Good luck!

I know someone who has 7 cats in her house. They were all rescued at various ages and times. From what I've seen and heard, cats are a little jealous by nature and hate seeing their attention being divided. So my friend had kept them isolated at first and slowly, very slowly introduced them to one another. This problem doesn't surface if both cats were brought in at the same time/age. Then they sort of just grow up with you together.

Cats are possessive!

Both of my cats are the loves of my life. My first cat was a male and he was jealous. My second cat is a female and she is not jealous.

All cats are sensitive and take care of their owners. Male cats are more aggressive than female cats. They want to be held more. Where as female cats want to be more independent.

(09-05-2013 04:41 PM)pftsusan Wrote:  Both of my cats are the loves of my life. My first cat was a male and he was jealous. My second cat is a female and she is not jealous.

All cats are sensitive and take care of their owners. Male cats are more aggressive than female cats. They want to be held more. Where as female cats want to be more independent.

The thing is, the older cat used to be so calm and cuddly before the younger one came along. I love them both, I just think it is so sad to see the personality change in my oldest. The younger one, Cera, has been quite independent since the start.

As with others I will share my experience, though nothing says yours will be the same, of course.

A little over a year ago we introduced a new cat into the house. I'd had mine here for 14 years, my new husband brought his 11 year old with him when we got married. We'd tried to introduce them gradually, sharing blankets back and forth betwee houses before he moved in, bringing his cat here in her carrier and just having her in the house, contained, a few times. Still, nothing prepared us for the uproar we had. There was ugliness and chasing and hissing, and growling. My cat was the one making all the noise, his cat did the chasing. Both had been the ruler of the roost previously. I felt so badly for my cat, who is the more anxious one, and seemed to be being shoved into a corner of her home all the time. She'd hide. She didn't eat. She didn't groom herself. It tore me apart!

We did try, eventually, to isolate my cat to her "safe zone" of the room she was always running to when chased. We put a litter pan in there, but only AFTER she'd started going in there w/o the pan. We added food and water, and a cozy spot for her to curl up. She used them sparingly.

At the vet's suggestion we purchased Feliway Spray and that did help to some degree. Things have gradually gotten better, after a year and a half. There is still growling on "my" cat's part, but no longer do we have the chasing. They can be within a couple feet of each other and just kind of move around each other till one moves on to her next spot. At this point it's a comfortable situation, and I'm happy they have come this far together, even if they never become friends.

I wish you the best of luck! It's just an awful feeling to have your sweet friend acting scared and acting out, even if you understand the reasons why!!

I am glad that they are starting to get along better, but now it sounds as if the new cat is trying to boss the older cat around, if she is even trying to chase her away. I imagine the older cat has had her feelings hurt, since she has been the only cat for quite a while now. I think it would help to give her more special attention, and also do feed her separately, so you know she is getting to eat her food and the younger cat is not taking it away from her. Maybe she should even have a separate place she can sleep and not be worrying about the younger cat bothering her. I think they will eventually start getting along together, it is just going to take time and effort.

Sorry for being off the topic here. I guess that I was tired when I posted this.

I haven't had that situation as of yet. I've been offered other animals and I turned that down because I don't think that my cat will be able to get along with them at this point. I have thought about it and realized that if I were to do this that, I would have to break the other one in gradually. because the older one will have herself in a scary transition.

Hopefully this helps you. Your older cat is going through a transition now that she has to co-exist with two other cats. Her environment was changed on her, not by her choice. Animals are extremely territorial. Before she was the only one getting all the attention. Now having to share the attention and her territory is scarying her. That's why I think that you see the behavior change in her.

As humans, we have control when we have to go through transition. It will usually take anywhere from two weeks to a month that we get ourselves though it in a healthy matter.

As cats and dogs, animals don't have this control. So they could be going through transition for months getting themselves used to co-existing with other the animal. My suggestion is to just be consistent and a leader when they need you to be. Love all of them. Pay attention to all three of them. Give each of them there space, even from each other. Until they are ready to co-exist together. You could award them for all the positive things that you catch them doing for each other. Even if it short lived. That could strengthen this for them.

When they see that you are there for them, that enables them to work through this transition, I think. I believe that cats need this assistance. In the end, it will workout. Susan

(09-06-2013 03:22 AM)deyvion Wrote:  The thing is, the older cat used to be so calm and cuddly before the younger one came along. I love them both, I just think it is so sad to see the personality change in my oldest. The younger one, Cera, has been quite independent since the start.